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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Perfect Nightmare

I don't really think people care much bout my entries lately.
Well doesn't really matter anyway, just a note for my lil' princess..

I never used to think what is best for me until I have MIN. After my divorce, everything was upside down. My reluctance to face the truth drive me crazy. But I'm lucky to have friends like Mdm. Ila, Mr. Kojek and My Darl.... They are still my best listener up to this day. 
Just things are different right now. Mdm Ila... she's busy with her little one, family and works.Cut it short, distance is the main point. For Mr. Kojek, I'm sorry. Very much sorry... I know it's hurt when you have to pretend to listen to me whining. You're really good in it. But I'm really sorry I can't help myself to stop talking bout him. My Darl........ he such a sweet guy that I ever met. Falling in love with his man is like heaven on earth to me. He's like a drug to me. But..... too bad, his side... nothing I can tell. Unpredictable that I have to ask bout his feeling all the time. Well, actually I just love to hear those 3 words from him. It make my heart dance.. and moony. My family, My friends and even my ex-husband asked me why out of all guys in this world I choose him??? I was gape ( when my ex-hubby asked), why??? I did asked My Darl the same question few times, But actually, I never bother to find the answer. I don't have the right to judge anybody. Myself alone is enough to make me crazy for me to judge. Recently, I was thinking of letting him go to the wild. :p hahaha.. For a moment, I feel like I don't deserve him at all. As much as I want to wait for him, patience can run thin dooh... He leaves me a huge hole in my heart, tears in my eyes, stupid thoughts in my head. But he still My Darl. I will wait forever if that what it takes. Waiting is what I hate the most but it's what I'm good at. But... too much BUT... I wish he will tell me when is the moment shouldn't wait.
Guess it's time for me to find my own happiness, instead of dreaming for a "prince charming" to come and bla.. bla.. bla.. Happy Ending. Unbelievable... hmmm.. funny actually. Well, this is it. 

Laydee_N : see...?? how I can sit the whole day and talk about him.... Might 1 of d reason scared him off. :p

2 Secreto D Amore:

Sheila said...

hiiii..its me the busy mdm ila(konon..hehe)
erm..i sensed something is not right. do let me know when you feel like spilling it out.

~ ( LayDee_N ) ~ said...

ila.. i miss u. i miss mai.. i always want to tell u when i'm sad. i saw u online.. listen 2 ur voice make me too happy to tell u that i'm sad. hehehehhe....... let just put it this way, i only can tell u tru this blog. :)

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