Look at this 2 pics... Tell me the different. Obviously, the hair laaa kan? Hehehe. But its FAR MORE than that. Part of me, i dont know who is that person.. Everybody say i have changed a LOT. Hmmmm.. Yea, maybe.
15 JUNE 2011 -- JOHN'S PLACE OFF DAY! Me and my sister also going to take a day off. Just want to prepare for my little princess BIG DAY. SHE'S 3 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!! feel like just yesterday i gv birth... And now, she's 1 adorable cute little girl. I believe God created her just for me.. For some reason. A good reason for me to move on alone.. She bring a lot of joy. She is d only reason i survive in all this pain. Thank God... I still have an eternity love.
Last weekend was quite wild I must say. Me, my sister - Nisa and Baby Min checked in Hilton. ~and we are grounded for that. Hahahaha~ Ok enough with the intro, we met a group of guys. Handsome good looking and perhaps i can say 1 of them is the "banker". Everything were on him. But this guy lack of something. Something that we call "LOVE". AND he reminds me of My Darl, when he said he is coming back Kuching again this week. Just to have dinner and go for movie with me and min. And talk about us of cos.. Im still not comfortable with him actually. The more he insist, thats the moment i miss my darl the most. Why is it so easy for this guy to say he LOVE me? Im in the other hand, feel so numb. I dont even miss him. He called me since yesterday, it was like every half an hour.. For God Sake!! Whats with this guy anyway?! I wish i can "change" this guy to My Darl.. Just like freaky friday movie. Switch the body. Hehehe.. But hmmmm.. Whats the point actually? So i got to see my darl face with this guy soul in it? Or i choose this guy body with my darl soul in it? Hmmmmmmmmm... My darl is 1 thing, he cant love me anymore. Everybody told me that its time to let it go. Too much pain now they become a wall in me. Thats explain why i become so defensive and offensive and what ever -sive.. I told this guy that things wont work.. I just said that without trying. Its gonna hurt me.. And wasting his time. Just like what happen to me and my darl. Im happy this way.. I still can call my darl.. Listen to his voice. Living in our bitter sweet memories. Its painful for others to watch, but its the only way make me move on another day. Suffering for somebody we love better than try to be happy with somebody we dont love.
What kind of person that u see in above photos? One of our agency's client came yesterday, this client is quite rich but i can say no one can tell he's a rich person. The "front cover", people would think he's a good looking "apek". I went to his place once, its really a place we can call dream land. He's a nice person but a lil' bit chicky. If it wasn't because of my job, only God knows what i wanna do. Hmmm.. Good thing, he's not a chicky idiotic kind a man like my big boss. Well actually, he just asking whether i like to hang out with him for lunch. I told him, "no thank u. I hope u can respect me although im younger than u. Hope u understand." since then he never ask me anymore, thats a big relief. Actually this particular client told me something yesterday, something bout me, myself.. I never really put much thought on it. Me and this Mr. J know each other almost a year, he came to office occasionally but very well aware of my current 'image'. Hahaha.. So he saw i bought a Galaxy Tab, my hair coloured, fashion a bit upgraded and i was impressed when he can even tell that i went to facial recently. So here's the things he told me.. "ur not so bad, improved a lot, the way u handle things very systematic.. Unlike 1st time i came. I can tell what kind of person u r from d way u dress, things u own, people around u and d way u take care of urself." At 1st it was a bit awkward for me to have this kind of conversation with a client, in office and some more in front of my colleagues. But then, what ever laaa. Its good get to know d unknown side of urself sometime. So i asked him, " not so bad? Means i was bad before? " and he answered : " no. I mean u r bad at some part, but there's a good part of u that can cover up d other part. Not everybody can handle mistakes, problems. Most of us will either try to avoid creating 1 or just walk away from it. But for u, u r not strong. U just pretend to be strong in a way to protect urself perhaps. Im not sure. Ur smile ur laugh, some people can see tru it. It was fake. But its d only way to make u stop crying. Its better for u to cry sometime. Cry it all out, doesnt matter it will take years for to dry it out. Ur torturing urself, thats d bad part of u. But u doing it for u to survive thats d good part. Try to think of something else" he said that cos i spent a lot of money lately, obviously "yes". My closet.. FULLY OCCUPIED WITH NEW DRESS. Handphone? 3 set by now. Heels? Lost count. Then went to the most expensive skincare centre for facial.. Beauty Angel. Actually there is a lot of cheaper treatment out there, comes out with d same result i guess. Its all started early this year.. Everytime i shop, i feel better. Then after a while, back to depress mode again. Then i shop again, buy what ever make me happy. Yea, now come to think of it, i am torturing myself. I almost become a shopaholic or i am 1 of them? Hmmm..
Laydee_N : I bought a ticket to paris next year... ~sigh.. Luckily i was not born to be a korean celebrity. Or else, i will end up like 'jun sang'.