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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Past = Past

Past is past, that is what people always say when they try to convince themself or others to move on to next phase. But somehow for some reason, it never work on me. My past, my family background and now my current status.. They all matter to people around me.
I met a lot of people.. They all said the same thing. Past is past, who u r now that is all matter. So now for me they are all equally bull #*%@. Sorry for that.
I have a friend with a very bad past experience. She ever went for abortion twice last time, affair with others husband, skip class, attitude wise very... Unacceptable. But after she met a guy, which not really her taste i can say.. They are working in a same company, same department.. Fall in love, married last year and just delivered a cute baby boy last May. She's totally change, nothing like before. Amazing, right? Now, can u say "name ur friends and i will tell u who u are."?? That is my very best friend, so tell me.. Who am i?
My colleague, last few months was in the same status with me. Widow. She's married last May and make herself the second wife. Some people said.. It's even worst. Hmmm... What ever. Mr. A, the husband.. Whom i ever hate before.. End up, i respect him the most. How he took the responsible as man and as a husband of two. So far, i never heard any complain from Mrs. A (my colleague) anymore as she always did before. Sometime she cried but now, i can see her smile. But deep inside, i know she still crying. But thats what she want. To be with the one she love.. Nothing come easy for something that we want the most. Hasle, tears, broken hearts, sometime even worst.. All the curses, only to the women. It might sound like a fairy tale to us. Easy come easy go.
Why im writting this entry today? Its because of a guy i met few months ago. He told me that he will never let me go.. How can he tied me if he never had me? I did try to give him a chance, but it never turn out right. I believe its my bad cos im still in love with my "past". H.I.M. I used to forgive and forget somebody so easy. Now not anymore. I became a very protective person. Now refuse and rejecting is what im good at. I refuse to accept any appology if it remind me of my past. I reject all guys who say, past is past. Back to this guy.. Mr. AJ. He told me he had a girlfren who is currently staying with him in KL. His fb status : ENGAGED. So i was like.. Oook. What ever. But yet he still never stop bothering me. Just like my stupid boss. Well, its not about the girlfren actually. Its him.. Himself. He nothing like Mr. A. Of cos i cant compare them. Bcos of the age. Mr. A is very matured man who is at his age of 40. While Mr. AJ only 27. We can say he still a boy. Yeah.. He still act like 1. Im not really in the mood to write anything more about this boy. He just another black spot in my life. Thats all..
A 36 years old man can't stand to protect me, what make him a 27 years old boy think he can't handle me?
So ladies.. Im not saying that we dont need a man in our life. Learn to stand by urself before u bring them into ur life. Just in case, u fall.. Alone.

Laydee_n : H.I.M -1 ever make me really HAPPY and also 1 ever broke my heart so badly.. i cant even put them back together. Yet H.I.M still d only 1 i can love.
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