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Friday, May 27, 2011

Fruit Cake for everyone..

My sister say "there will always a fruit cake for everyone".
I already have 1 but i cant have it... :-(
Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up with this big black hole in my heart again, walking around without my soul, doing things with my empty head.. Yea.. I just realized that. I was driving the whole day without looking at the side mirror, walk around didn't even know what should i do next. Staring at my boss but can't even catch a thing she said. Took a plate thought wanna get some rice to eat but end up with pouring water in it. ~sigh.. Funny right? For crazy people like me, its never a funny thing. Its the purest of pain that we have to live with.
What is wrong with me? Where did i do wrong? Why it have to end like this? What a pathetic questions.
Why do i have to be so sad when there's somebody willing to replace him and now waiting for me?
One of my friend ever experienced this situation before. I was wondering why she's so horribly lost back there. Now i come to understand the situation. It is not only about loosing somebody we love, it is because we can not love somebody else. He's the only man i can fall in love with and now he's walking away. And me.. Locking the "door" for good. It might take some time for me to open it again, but when the time come.. The door's lock might be rusty and inside wont be shiny as before.
I have thought of this would happen. Why did i still proceed? I'm crazy as Alice in the wonderland. A lot of people didn't get the real message of the story. Why she followed the invisible cat? She was lost in the unknown world and she dont know which way to go. So she asked the cat take her to anywhere, at least she will arrive somewhere. And as for me, even i knew that this relationship wont last long.. I still decided to continue. I told myself, it might hurt but at least i try. Rather than i keep on wondering for the rest of my life.. Would it be better if i do this...? do that? In the end, i still standing here without doing nothing. That feeling is more torturing.. i must say. Well at least now i reach the end and i learn something from this failure.
DO NOT SET YOUR MIND TO THIS
" WOMEN DON'T NEED MEN TO PROTECT THEM. MEN ARE HUMAN AND SOMETIME THEY CAN BE WEAKER THAN A WOMEN "
Laydee_N : It's amazing how I can love him with all these broken pieces.

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